Blessed are the...confused

I learned that the bible text, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," actually means, when properly translated, "Blessed are the confused."  If that is true, then I am blessed.

As with life, the trajectory of illness is not a straight path, nor is the velocity of disease progression anything approaching steady.  It is, in short, confusing.  The ground shifts right under your feet.

"You've already outlived yourself several times," the doctor tells Peter.  But here we go again...gearing up, then letting down, only to be blindsided and rushing to gear-up again.

I don't know why this is, but as I think back over the last three years, the actual dates I recall were those that brought bad news:  Initial diagnosis on 11-17-2011, surgery on 3-13-2012, recurrent diagnosis on 10-31-2013, bad news scan on 8-04-2014, and, finally, "the cancer is asserting itself" on 11-24-14.  The good scans I remember more broadly, by month instead of date - May, October, April, then another good May.  

Between and among all those dates are so many highs and lows, but the highs win out in the unfolding of our lives with our wonderful family and host of friends.   Peter lived a full and active 13 months after the recurrence in October 2013, which beat all odds for his type of cancer. 

The Proton Beam Radiation he received in Philadelphia last February (along with cousin Joel Steiker's exquisite care) contributed to this good time, but even more so did Peter's active lifestyle and myriad deep friendships and good works on behalf of others.  He came home from Philadelphia and filled the shed with the wood we are burning to keep warm right now.  He jumped back into his music and his volunteer work and his life with his family close by.

Peter has become very sick very quickly, and is in Hospice Care here at home right now.  This IS confusing.  But his dunk in the pond last week (see previous post) is testimony to the spirit that has served him (and all of us) so well.  He is asking of all of us is to take good care of ourselves and each other as we move forward.

He can't take visitors or read email right now.  Please keep up here for updates.  Thank you all.